When I consider the short duration of my life, swallowed up in the eternity before and after, the little space which I fill, and even can see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces of which I am ignorant, and which know me not, I am frightened, and am astonished at being here rather than there; for there is no reason why here rather than there, why now rather than then. Who has put me here? By whose order and direction have this place and time been allotted to me?
B. Pascal, 1623-1662, French philosopher, physic and mathematician
I've been watching the BBC 2 programme about the Universe etc with prof Brian Cox. I gave it a chance on many reasons (1)I am SUPPOSED to understand the Science part of the universe ( its part of what I do now!) (2) Like to hear what a 'new' physicist says about it and the programme's take on it all (3) Brian Cox was a pop stair in the 1980s and that so amuses me, his band had the song which Tony Blair hijacked as his theme song to get into power for the first time!
Why am I here?
Well some 16yr old had unprotected sex, I am the product of a mistake.
Didn't know that till I was 16 but hey its been banded a lot in my adult life.
Cast up to me.
The joys of being adopted by someone that resented the fact I was the one out of all her bio children and me, that was always here. She once cast up that I stayed as I had a conscience as though it was a bad thing.
But why am I really here?
Am I supposed to do something?
I know I am looking after mother now at 91, within the final stages of vascular dementia, putting up with the 'crap' like being hit, or bitten or screamed at.
But is there more?
I sometimes think what did I do in a previous life that resulted in the karma I have in this one being so bad? I also hope it was a good bad thing if you know what I mean?
But I'd like to think I am here for a better purpose and I don't mean finding a cure for something but a better purpose.
Maybe it shall become clearer the older I become but at this moment its well lost on me.
Did Darwin think he had a purpose? Especially when he was questioning his writing of the book Origin of the Species which was at odds with many.
Do any of the people out there that do something fantastic like finding cures/ writing books on evolution, or whatever you can think of, did they know why they were here or is this a question we ALL have?
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