I stupidly started watching a TV programme last night and of course got waylaid from the early night.
But it was the boy from Vancouver, the Buble, whom I like on many levels.
I've yet to bump into him when across there, I seem to bump into others, usually ones I don't care about meeting (Sorry Bobby Carlyle & Matt Damon, you don't do it for me, but where the hell was Ryan Reynolds, I know you where there hiding!). The joys of Hollywood North.
Why was I up so early?
Motogp from Philip Island, Casey Stoner won, poor Jorge was out before race began sounds horrible, his ring finger mashed. And then F1 from Korea, of course I'd forgotten about the rugby after that.
I need my bed so I do.
Also I feel I do have the lurgy coming on. Unlike other days when it seems to be making appearance and then doesn't its hanging on for day 2.
Up the road had a wee psychic fayre on. So I went , nothing doing if I am honest, poor show, but if I'd not gone I'd have been wondering. Had a reading and why not, and my father came through, never has before.
And she got him, described him well, so not a fake.
Some things the cards etc. came up with where spot on.
The crap my sister has got us all into will drag on, ironically she had a card reading last weekend and she got told 6 months, and I was told 6 months. Must have been the horror on my face as she went ' oh could be 6 weeks but....'
Also got told I had a lot of green around me, which makes perfect sense. Seemingly I have been told by the lovely Kababel I've Ariel as my Guardian Angel, and what was being said yesterday about me, it all kind of ties it up.
Also she did tell me, I could do what she did, if I trained. Was told that 30 years ago and laughed.
Still don't know, since the stroke, some things pop into head and I am not wrong, weirdly. Like yesterday walked into hall and I knew someone was there and I don't mean human walking live, ( there was no one in room as all having a fag or cuppa!) I knew someone I knew from the other side was , but couldn't work out who and I'd have not thought of dad, he's never been there for me before!
Maybe he thought he'd better pop up because of what's happening.
Still wishing I was an only child.
Bullying eldest sister into being a wee bitty more pro active.
She likes to bury her head in the sand far too much.
No 2 son did say the other night about how he's felt I've been ( and I quote) ' Grandma's and his Aunt's Bitch during my adult life' and in ways he's right.
But he does get why I get upset about, how after all this time, my children's inheritance is out the window.
He doesn't care, think his sister does, but then that's not a surprise. No 1 son hasn't bothered his backside to be in touch, which is starting to bug the hell out of me, mind you I am as bad as I've not contacted him, must be the Scorpio that I am!
No 2 son did mention that I am fighting for Grandma well and good but have I seriously thought about that maybe her going into a home sometime soon might be the best thing for her? I have to admit the answer to him was no, made a promise etc., though this morning I did wonder if it wasn't a good idea.
Would she be happier? Someone to talk to, etc. but I'd worry in case they didn't look after her well enough and so forth.
But I know whoever that is inhabiting her body now in this stage of dementia its not mother.
I've done my mourning. I feel for her as she's now existing and not living.
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| Saw this and thought yep agree totally!! |
I cant imagine what it must be like to have to live the way you do with your mother, or having to think about making other choices. A friend of mine's MIL has become very badly confused over the last year, but is now in hospital. She was living in a supported accomodation, but they have at least been spared making any choices for her as it has been taken out of their hands as she needs full time medical help now so she will go from the hospital to a home, they have been given no choice. xxxxx
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