Bah humbug

I'm in a mood.
Seriously.
Began at work, where to do the secret Santa *spit* today as I don't work a Thursday and what have you. We waited ( I could have left earlier was good and waited) but oh no,1 of the great masses off my lot hadn't brought the pressie in because she assumed last day. So it's all rearranged for tomorrow & I got some sarcastic comments because I let it be known I was pissed off about it all. I didn't want to participate but did, thought the Amundsen of money far too high £20. I did put an effort into what I bought for the person I was picking for,but I beginning to think why.
I was more narked today because I was painted te bad guy, the awkward 1 when I wasn't , I am meant to be part of this lot, colleague etc, but not. I was made to feel like the nuisance and I left thinking praise be I am not seeing any of them till January. I think I shall trawl jobs again.
it could be rearranged for her but they couldn't do that for me. That's what's narking me.

Then to cap it all have been trying to do something I thought would help someone, remember karma? Yep trying to store up the good, but got the impression, I am so not in that frame of mind with them any more. I feel they've not got me and they've been economical with the truth, which isn't the thing to do with me. In fact they actually thought I sounded insulted. Don't think it was insulted just majorally pissed off at them and their insular view. It's what THEY wanted, not what would work best.
I now feel I don't want to help them any more.
Which isn't me but it's how they've made me feel.
But then they'd got warned I was in a foul mood but they don't know me enough to know what that meant.
BFF called & he told me off.
Maybe I needed that but, that wee trigger switch that is now in the brain since my stroke has switched. I know it has, I know when it happens, I am aware.
I do nag myself to snap out of it, but tonight, it just won't switch back.
So tonight all I can think of is that life sucks.