Autumnal

Got to say, writing this on the iPad isn't always easy, so I've noticed lots of mistakes in previous posts, sorry folks!
It's been a tad chilly out there of late, autumn seems to have arrived.
Yet the trees in my garden are green and not changing colour , getting lts of little birds and of course Hamish's arch enemy the squirrel!
I suppose they are stocking up before hibernation or heading south for winter.
I like the idea of heading south for winter.
Get some sunshine in the old bones.
Get some happy endorphins going.
Get out of the funk I'm in.
I've decided if I'm not getting knee sorted by the time of my birthday, I'm off that weekend , somewhere. Me no care. I just want away.
It's very selfish off me, I have been away in the summer, managed a trip up north in February and a wee jolly before I broke things.
I've had more than most, mind you this seemed to be a different year than most. I'm usually only away the once. So I am lucky.
It's the one positive for 2012.
Actually 2012 was a positive year, till the accident.
Even then July and being away was good despite the wee jolly to Lions Gate hospital etc.
Catching up with old friends and what have you. I didn't miss work, still don't , so had time to loose myself in books and what have you.
But then it unravelled , with all the carry on with social work, sister and what have you . 
Chasing my tail, trying to juggle too many balls at once, and getting fed up trying to please people, to jump through hoops I can't manage. And shouldn't have to manage.
Not really having support to get through it all.
I'm in retrospective mood, it's been Rosh Hananah, Jewish New Year, where you make amends say sorry to people etc. I wish folk would say sorry, cos I'm sick of the one making amends and sick of being the strong one.
No wonder the more I know people, the more I like my animals and the escapism books give me.
Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in the mushy stuff etc, but, it's just ice to escape to a world where nice things happen. Especially to the down trodden.
And yes should my euro millions ticket comes up, I'll send you a postcard!
( after I've helped those I think need a boost, so I'll be shopping in Berkshire, Norfolk, Canada , California, Scotland and Australia!).
And those that have helped to add to the funk, I'd be sending you a slightly more graphic message! Lol